You Know You're South African When...

You Know You're South African When...

• The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather to speed past them and head for your nearest police station
• You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks you
• You call a traffic light a 'robot'
• You call a trunk a 'boot'
• You call a hood a 'bonnet'
• You call anything below 16 degrees Celsius "Arctic weather"
• You know someone who knows someone who knows Nelson Mandela
• You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's license when stopped by a traffic officer
• The Student Union demands that academic achievement shouldn't be a criterion for university acceptance because it's 'discriminatory'
• Criminals get government positions
• The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you just reported
• You know a taxi can move twice the certified amount of people in one trip
• You travel 100's of kilometres to see snow
• 'Now now' or 'Just now' can mean anything from a minute to a month
• If you're travelling at the speed limit on the highway (120km/h) you're the slowest vehicle
• You have to take your own linen and food with you if you're admitted to a government hospital
• Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime is too high
• People have the most wonderful names :  Christmas, Precious, Beauty, Innocence, Given, Fortunate, Wednesday, Blessing
• Prisoners go on strike
• The currency takes a dive and the previous government gets the blame
• A 45 year old engineer gets replaced by a 25 year old who can't write his own name
• The Constitutional Court declares the death sentence unconstitutional, but rules that abortion is okay
• The government GIVES people houses and they complain by setting fire to them
• People tell you they wouldn't live anywhere else because the weather is so bad over there!