Another week has flown past us!! Another week in which I have been hectically busy but can’t say what I’ve really done, and wonder about the ‘fruits of my labour’. In weeks like these, I need to remind myself that the fruits will come later, that this is a season that will pass, and that I’ll miss it once it’s gone!
Duly reminded, here’s what’s in my head:
1. Ben got a new budgie! It’s white with blue flecks and goes by the name of Skye (which I think is a pretty name, even though the poor little thing will never fly in the sky...)
2. Eden has been asked to play in a concert in two weeks’ time. The woman who asked her got her name as a referral from someone. She’ll be paid for it, and I’m rather pleased that she’s getting to be known as a cellist like this.
3. We’re looking to upgrade her cello. She currently has a factory-made instrument, and would like a hand-made one (her preference – a Czech Cello..). We went to see one this week, and although it’s a French make, it has a beautiful sound! Unfortunately it also has some marks on the body, which she finds off-putting. We’re praying about it.
4. Determined to get rid of the backlog of ironing in our house, I bought a second ironing board and another iron! I figured that with two people ironing at the same time, and one using the Elna Press, we could get rid of all the clothes lying waiting to be ironed in one evening! Well..... we started with 3 laundry baskets full, and after 2 hours of ironing, we still had 3 baskets.... I can’t work it out at all! Those clothes were multiplying while we were busy....
5. Does anyone know how to stop following a blog?? I added a few blogs to my list that I don’t want to read anymore and I can’t seem to delete them from the list. I have tried going to “Manage” under “Blogs That I Follow” and clicking on the blog title. A button comes up “Stop following this blog” - I click it, and the screen renews, but the blog is still on the list..!! It’s most frustrating, and my feed is cluttered with new posts from blogs I don’t care about..
6. I found this article on yahoo the other day – and it makes me wonder about people and the conclusions that they jump to... I don’t know much about the author himself, although I have heard of his name, and know nothing of the content of the book, but I worry about the association of: The book + The crimes + Christians + Homeschoolers. Comments from my American friends?
7. Many people have been saying how glad they are that this fellow was dealt with like this yesterday! He is everyone's favourite person to hate (or love, depending on which side you're on) and normally at the centre of any political issues. Today's newspapers report, however that he 'is defiant' and I'm not surprised - these types don't usually do what they're told! I don't think he and his issues are over...
And that is that! We have a HOT weekend ahead of us, the boys will have to smother themselves in sunscreen for the shoot tomorrow! I’m thankful that we have a pool, and will make sure we have lots of ice!!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
We're a South African family of 8 living in Beautiful British Columbia, Canada. This is a peek into our lives.
Felicity,
ReplyDeleteI haven't read the Perl's book (To Train Up A Child), but it sounds very like the Ezzo's (Growing Kids God's Way) from 20 years ago, or so.
I think a lot of the parenting techniques they advocate are actually good (and practical) but some readers take things too far. MUCH too far.
But fundamentally, I think the problem lies in trying to reduce parenting to a formula. Far too many people - and in this case, Christians especially - want a guaranteed method for raising children. You know... "If I do THIS, my children will turn out godly and holy and won't dye their hair blue and pierce their navels and rebel."
Yah, I'm oversimplifying, but I think that's at the root of this. People really think that if they follow the program their kids MUST turn out well, and when the program fails, or the kid's sin nature rears its ugly head the parents feel like failures. So they either quit, or they think they're just not working the program firmly enough and we see the tragic results.
As I said, (too long comment?!) I haven't read their book(s?), but I know a family that loves them. They love the Lord, they love their kids, and they discipline them appropriately, etc. Maybe they're wise "gleaners" - picking the good out of it???
But the 'blurbs' I've seen from the Perls do alarm me a bit. Too rigid, and that's coming from a very structured, disciplined mom!
Hope that helps,
Julie
Thanks Julie, it does.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I've always been a 'gleaner' - taking only what I like or feel comfortable with from parenting book and even homeschooling books!
Hmmm, what to say?
ReplyDeleteI have read To Train Up a Child by M. Pearl ~ as well as some of his/their other books. I can't really endorse it, but I think they have valid points. Such as not raising your voice or getting angry ~ Oh, if my flesh were only under that much control! {sigh}
He also likes to talk about tying strings ~ building relationships. It's easy to miss the JOY part if you're overly focused on Instant Obedience of the Perfect Child. :-\
I've read LOTS of parenting books over the years b/c I didn't learn much growing up ~ and as a young Christian, it was a whole new ballgame. I wish I'd heard the advice many years earlier to follow Proverbs 3:5-6 instead of looking for a 'formula' ~ like Julie said. But that's pretty much what all the books profess to be... "Here's how Biblical parenting plays out in daily life..." Except, of course, that some are for the rod, and some are not, and so on.
It's all about balance {and not being ruled by our own pride} ~ the devil would have us off one way or the other. I'm not sure it matters to him if we're too strict or too lenient, just so we're off.
So, yeah, I could write a book of what NOT to do as a parent. And I might have a few ideas worth trying. But God. The God who is rich in mercy. He can work His own plan in the lives of our children ~ in spite of our blunders. And for that I am very thankful!
{sorry for the sermonette! I should have messaged you on fb instead : ) }
PS ~ Julie, I've only read the Babywise books not GKGW, but I'd not say the Pearls and the Ezzos are the same at all. Ezzos taught me to NOT be 'legalistic' with my babies!
ReplyDeleteDo you have a picture of a budgie?
ReplyDeleteIve read the Pearls "To Train Up a Child"... They have some good tips on what to do when your child does this or this... But they write in a very "this is the way and the only way to do things". So I read it and pick and choose what I liked/didnt like about it. He said to snap your babies hand to teach them not to touch things. I have used that A LOT. It doesnt even make the baby cry and they learn not to touch things that could hurt them. Anyway, LONG answer and I dont know if it even helped answer your question. I dont think he teaches abuse, though some of his methods could be seen as harsh.
Melanie,
ReplyDeleteyou're right. I should have been clearer. The parenting advice isn't the same, but some of the results (among readers and critics) have been. They tend to polarize the groups who follow their plan or who don't. I know churches that have SPLIT over the Ezzos.
I, too, read Babywise (the Ezzos'
"softened" version of Growing Kids God's Way) and benefited greatly, but I have seen GKGW parents watch their kids cry and withold feedings because "it's 15 minutes until their scheduled feeding time". Really? And eating 15 minutes early would ruin everything?
Granted MOST SENSIBLE READERS (like you!) aren't like that. But some of the more insecure parents are.
I think that's where the Perls have fallen under criticism. They (I'm oversimplifying, I'm sure) tell parents to continue to discipline until the child is repentant. That's a good principle, but...
Some children are very, very defiant and will keep up the battle of wills for a very long time. On the one hand, you don't want to let the little tyrant "win", but just continuing to spank him or her in that moment doesn't always work.
Life is messy.
Julie
Tell Eden that marks on her cello would be a sign of character and a rich history! Everyone of the scars I put on my cello has a story...
ReplyDelete